Ignis's Job
by OMFGhehehe
Summary: Prompto, Noctis, and Gladiolus have a problem so they go to Ignis for help because he's the Royal Advisor... But it turns out, he isn't the Royal Advisor. What is his job? Will Prompto be able to guess it? Yaoi


A/N: Nobody has wrote any Gladiolus X Ignis yet, so I decided I should write some~! I hope you enjoy and spread the love of this pairing! I'm writing this as a contest between me and my sister Soaring Ballad, so go check her story out too! I hope I wasn't supposed to write anything romantic because it's humor… With Prompto in it, how could it not be! XD

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"Well what should we do?" Gladiolus asked. Noctis shrugged and Prompto got into his thinking pose which usually wasn't a good sign.

"Well isn't Ignis the Royal Advisor or something?" Prompto asked. Gladiolus was surprised at the brilliant idea. The trio made their way to said Royal Advisor's room. Ignis was busy working on some sort of paper work.

"Ignis, we need your help," Gladiolus spoke up first because the other two were scared of disturbing Ignis because he was scary when he was angry.

"With what?" Ignis said. Judging by the sheepish looks that he was receiving he determined they had done something bad and were expecting him to fix it.

"Well since you are the Royal Advisor we need-"

"-I'm not the Royal Advisor," Ignis cut in. Gladiolus was confused. If Ignis wasn't the Royal Advisor then what _was_ his job?

"Wait, you aren't?" Ignis shook his head.

"You should know that. How long have we known each other?" Gladiolus looked at the other two for help. They were just as surprised as him so he figured that they didn't know he wasn't the Royal Advisor either.

"What is your job then?" Gladiolus asked. Ignis smirked.

"Why don't you try and guess." Noctis facepalmed - Ignis would never give them a straight answer.

"The smart guy," Prompto said like it was the most intelligent thing he'd ever said. When Ignis didn't say it was right Prompto decided to guess some more things, "Accountant, cook, banker, gymnast, swimmer, bodyguard, prince, pillow fluffer, butler, stripper?"

"None of those things were right," Ignis said, "and it's a decent job. I'm not some kind of whore."

"Damn, whore was my next guess, then porn star," Prompto said. He seemed to be out of ideas which, was probably a good thing.

"Can you give us a hint?" Noctis asked. Ignis nodded.

"It's two words."

"Well that narrows it down a lot," the Prince said sarcastically.

"Wet nurse!" Prompto yelled. "That's it right! That's kind of gross don't you think Ignis. I didn't even know that you could do that!"

"Prompto, he's not a wet nurse, that's an impossible job for him," Noctis said as he slapped the blond on the back of the head.

"He's smart, so maybe he's a card shark," Prompto said. "I didn't know you had that rebellious side to you Ignis, you seem like a goody-two shoes."

"Prompto, he already said he had a decent job," Gladiolus said. He was trying to think of what Ignis might be, but Prompto kept distracting him.

"Okay, what about an office boy or a soda jerk?" Prompto said.

"I'm not twelve," Ignis said, he was half-tempted to tell them what he was because he didn't want to listen to Prompto name ridiculous jobs.

"Are you a corner man?" Now they were just ignoring Prompto. He seemed to get the hint and he shut up.

"You always have paper work so are you a proof reader for a big publishing company?" Gladiolus asked finally being able to think since Prompto hadn't said anything for a couple minutes.

"I hate reading, so I would never do that," Ignis scoffed. "I'm starting to think that maybe you guys don't really know me that well."

"Well you played piano when you were little… You're a piano tuner!" Noctis said with enthusiasm that could rival Prompto's.

"No," Ignis said. He was happy that at least he seemed to have one friend who actually knew stuff about him. Even if it was just embarrassing stuff…

"I gots it!" Prompto yelled. "You're a meter maid! The other day I saw you writing something and sticking it on someone's car. It was a ticket wasn't it!"

"Actually that was my car and it was to remind myself that I needed to pick up Noctis from school," Ignis said.

"Liar!" Prompto accused. "Why wouldn't you have stuck it _in _your car?"

"I didn't have my car keys at the time!"

"Then you are an exotic dancer!"

"Didn't I already tell you it was a decent job?" Ignis said in a frustrated tone. What made Prompto think he was sort of whore?

"That's a decent job!" Prompto yelled defensively.

"Why are you being so defensive?" Gladiolus teased.

"I'm not!"

"You are too!"

"Am not!"

"Stop fighting!"

"Are you someone's sparring partner?" Noctis asked. He'd seen Ignis use a katana on occasion, so he figured he might just use it to teach people how to fight… He _was_ really skilled. Graceful too.

"No, I don't find fighting all that enjoyable."

"You could be a Pullman conductor!" Prompto said.

"Are you just running out of ideas? There are no trains remotely close to here!"

"I'm not running out of ideas!" Prompto yelled.

"Oh really?" Ignis challenged.

"Really. Are you an auto mechanic, drawbridge operator, bee keeper, bus driver, or pastry chef?"

"I guess you aren't running out of ideas," Ignis admitted.

"Prompto will you be quiet so maybe Noctis or I can come up with some ideas," Gladiolus asked as politely as he could.

"I guess I could try," Prompto said dejectedly. Gladiolus felt bad, but he was really determined to be the one to find out Ignis's job.

"You could be a security guard," Gladiolus finally came up with after a couple of minutes of thought.

"If I was buffer," Ignis scoffed.

The trio started thinking, all of them momentarily out of ideas… Except for Prompto who was still trying to keep quiet.

Soon enough though, Prompto thought he'd been quiet for long enough so he suggested yet another job, "Mail boy!" He could hardly contain his excitement about his wonderful thinking skills.

"I told you, I'm twenty not twelve."

"Finally we found out your age!" Noctis cried happily. Ignis sighed, Noctis really needed to stop hanging around Prompto.

"Wait I've got it!" Noctis said with such certainty in his voice, Ignis really thought he might have it. "I remember when we were kids you always said that you wanted a farm because you thought goats were cute." Ignis did not like where this was going. "So, since you couldn't get a farm, you work at the Sunny Days Farm on the outskirts of town! You're a goat herder."

Ignis sighed. And here he thought Noctis was going to get it. He had the most hope in Noctis since he had proved he knew Ignis best.

"Give us another hint!" Prompto squealed.

"The first word starts with a 'B' and the second a 'T'," Ignis figured they would get it right away and was stupefied when no response was given immediately.

"Big Tits!" Prompto screamed.

"Why are you screaming and that's not even a job!" Ignis said with a blush on his face. He prayed no one was around his room listening.

His prayer went unanswered because Cor popped into the room yelling, "Big tits where?!"

"I was kidding!" Prompto said with a happy-go-lucky grin on his face.

"Butt Tickler!" Noctis yelled. Yup, he was hanging around Prompto too long. When he got weird looks from Ignis, Cor, and Gladiolus he said, "I said that out loud didn't I?" With Ignis's nod he blushed.

"Bald Tinkler!"

"Beardless T-shirtmaker!"

"Black Tattoo-artist!"

Noctis and Prompto took turns yelling jobs back and forth. Each time it got weirder and weirder.

"What's wrong with them?" Gladiolus said he was severely creeped out after Noctis suggested, "Bloody Teller."

"They are just getting more and more morbid," Ignis said. The two teens continued to name weird things while Gladiolus thought some more.

"I've got it. You go to the school often, so maybe you are a Biology Tutor!" Gladiolus had been thinking for a while and that was the best he could come up with. He surely hoped it was right, but as of right now, he had no competition because Noctis and Prompto weren't going to name something correct.

"Nope, sorry, still not right," Ignis was about to just tell them, but then Prompto told him not too because he had a really good one coming.

"You're a brainy trucker!" Prompto said. He waited Ignis to tell him it was right, but grew frustrated when Ignis told him he was wrong… again.

"I think you are just leading us on!" Noctis said.

Prompto held back laughter, but he couldn't contain it anymore. "He is a whore! He's leading us all on, but he's not going to date any of us!"

"Okay I'll just tell you!" Ignis said. "I can't stand any more of your terrible guesses, so here it is. I'm a Battle Tactician!"

"Oh, that makes sense, since you are always busy when we are fighting a war or about ready to, but you don't have work otherwise," Gladiolus said.

"So what did you guys do anyway that you needed me to think of a way to get you out of?" Ignis asked. He was actually curious. If it was just Prompto and Noctis then he knew they just did something bad like broke a vase, but Gladiolus was in on this too. So he was intrigued.

"Well, we got tickets to a dance, but it's couples only…" Noctis said. He and Prompto had been naming jobs still so they hadn't heard him reveal his job. Gladiolus was glad he didn't have to say it because he was nervous about asking Ignis to go to the dance with him. He was pretty sure Prompto and Noctis planned the whole thing to get him and Ignis to get together and not just because they wanted to hang out and have fun like they said.

"So you want me to go with you?" Ignis said.

"Actually…" Noctis trailed off leaving a cue for Gladiolus to ask Ignis.

"I want you to go with me," Gladiolus said although it was super fast, so Ignis couldn't make out what he had said, but he had an idea of what it was.

"What was that?" Ignis said in a teasing tone.

"I said that I want you to go to the dance with me," Gladiolus repeated. This was probably the first time in his life that he blushed so heavily.

"Of course I will as long as it's a date," Ignis said. Gladiolus couldn't believe what Ignis had said. He wanted to date him?

"Okay, it can be a date," Gladiolus said. Finally his seemingly unobtainable dream had come true. He was dating the hottest guy in the world, Ignis.

"Hurry up and kiss already you two!" Prompto said laughing.

"You are such a voyeur," Noctis teased. Prompto pouted, but only for a second.

"Says the boy who watches me shower from the air vent," Prompto teased back. Noctis's face turned bright pink at that and his eyes matched his face.

"You are still a pedo," he mumbled.

"At least I'm not a Bipartisan Toastmaster," Prompto said.

"I already told you guys what I was! And, we don't even have a democracy here like in Tenebrae so how would I be bipartisan?" Ignis said. Prompto was going to give him an ulcer.

"Because… uh… You follow Tenebraen politics," Prompto nodded his head as if his words were law.

"He's not a Bipartisan Toastmaster. He already said yes to being a Bucolic Tourist," Noctis argued.

"Actually-" Gladiolus tried to set them straight, but he was cut off by them yelling 'jobs' back and forth. "You know what, forget it. Let's just let them argue."

"Good idea," Ignis agreed. "Why don't we go get some ice cream?"

"I'd like that. Maybe a movie afterwards to give Prompto and Noctis some time to finish arguing and fuck?"

"Sounds good." Ignis and Gladiolus interlocked hands and crept out of the room happier than they had been in weeks.


End file.
